He asked me what I wanted.
I didn't respond.
It's not that I couldn't
or don't know what I want
It's that one is impossible
and the other makes me scared
because I'm not sure if he'd do it
or if he'd choose to or want it.
Probably not because if he did,
he would already know the answer.
Maybe he's just waiting for me
to say that what I really want is goodbye.
Something he can't admit to himself,
so he'd like me to initiate the end.
He asked me what I wanted,
and boy did I want to respond -
That what I wanted was for him
to want, love, and fight for me
like I want, love, and fight for us.
He asked me what I wanted,
and it took strength to not say
that what I wanted was to go back
to the time when everything was fine.
There was no doubt in my mind,
nor suspicion in my heart.
All I knew was he loved me
so much that I felt like
I didn't deserve it.
Well, funny how it appears
that I truly didn't deserve it anyway
Since now it seems
that he never felt that way for real.
He asked me what I wanted
and I couldn't respond
not because I don't know what I want,
but because I'm tired of always,
always being the one
who has to put up a fight.
